Monday, November 24, 2008

The worst tv shows, that were once great movies

There have been many great movies that have become great t.v. series, and some that have crashed harder than the economy. These are the ones that didn't make it to a second season, or for that matter, some of them through the first. The shows that tried to squeeze every drop of money out of a movie (kinda like our Friday nights, but without the money part) These are the shows made from movies that time forgot, the ones that were either so crappy no one cared. The ones that had so much bullshit crammed into the script, the only resemblance of the actual movie, was the title itself.

Case number one - Logan's Run
Pretty awesome movie! The show was a pile of, you know.
It aired fourteen episodes, September 16, 1977 through February 6, 1978.

Is that a tattoo gun? Maybe Logan's Run was more hardcore than we thought.

In the movie, it was awesome. There was a big ass central computer buried under some mountain, and you couldn't live past the age of thirty. They had crystals embedded in their palms that changed color to tell how old you are. After it turns black, you have to go in for "willing termination", if not you're called "a runner". Pretty neat huh? They had awesome guns, it was set in 2274 (that's the future), and it had a bunch of techno-awesomeness you'd expect from 2274.

The show... Well, it took place in 2319, first of all. That is a crappy year for me, so I already hate it. In the show, no one has the crystals embedded in their palms, so they must have had a damn good census bureau or something. The guns didn't just "kill people", they had a "stun", "blast" and "kill" setting, we kind of figure "blasting" would pretty much kill things, but it's the future, so what the fuck do we know? Logan runs (haha get it, "Logan's Run") away from some city where they want to kill him, meets some android named Rem, hops in a hovercraft, and has all sorts of fun adventures with horny future chicks and robots.

Case number two - Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The movie made millions, the show made us cry.
It only aired 13 episodes. It aired for only 353 days, August 23, 1990 through August 11, 1991, that's not a good ratio, I think. I'm not a rocket scientists or anything.

Who the fuck is that guy?

Great movie! A whole lot of twists and turns, suprises and a happy ending (not for the principal, though). What made it a great movie? It was the fact that all those things that Ferris and his group of renegade teenagers did, were a one time deal. How many times can you skip school, steal a car (and then total it), sing in a parade on national t.v., steal a three hundred dollar meal and get away with it all? We're betting about once.

That is why the show failed, how many times could he have stolen a car and skipped school? He would have flunked out, fast. His depressed buddy would have hung himself under the bleachers in the auditorium after the fifth episode. Ferris' girlfriend would have left him for the proverbial jock character. All these events would lead to a strung-out Ferris Bueller sleeping in gutters and whoring himself out for a few quick bucks to get his fix.

The bottom line is, "Bueller.... Bueller.... Bueller..." We would have to hear that for 13 episodes? Seriously, that's too much, even for Ben Stein.

-Ari Racz

Enjoy! And COMMENT!!!

1 comment:

  1. wow i think i will stick with mushrooms and LSD